My sweet girl… this photo is very emotional for me because it depicts a time of great transition in our journey as mother and child. After nearly 22 months of nursing, you are officially (finally) weaned. I honestly never intended to or thought I would nurse you this long. You just never lost interest, and once I didn’t have to pump anymore it wasn’t really much effort on my part to let you keep going. You would wake up and do your little sign and look up at me with those beautiful blue eyes saying “melk!”… a mother is pretty defenseless to that kind of cuteness. But a month or so ago you started showing small signs of indifference, so when I went away on a business trip we decided that would be it.
Even though I was as ready as I could be, it was still bittersweet once I knew I was nursing you for the last time. You were my baby. You were my first. We’ve been on this crazy journey together, learning together… and there were many moments during those early days when I wasn’t sure I’d ever get the hang of nursing, much less be able to nurse you until you were almost 2. But we figured it out, and it ended up being one of the most rewarding and beautiful experiences of my life.
Our last nursing session came and went, and we moved on to a new phase in our relationship. One where I feel much more like the mother of a young girl than the mother of a baby. You still ask for milk almost every day, but you’re perfectly fine with my saying “no.” We replaced our pre-bed nursing time with rocking and singing in the chair in your room. (This photo was taken during one of those times.) We sing the same three songs every time: “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley, “Golden Slumbers” by The Beatles, and “Murder in the City” by The Avett Brothers. Some nights you even sing along, which is pretty much the cutest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Mostly I’m just glad that we still get our special time together. You’re growing up so fast, and before I know it you’ll outgrow wanting to be rocked before bed. So I’m treasuring what I can get.
I am joined in this “Letters to our Children” blog circle by an amazing group of photographers and moms. Together, we’ll be writing these letters every month in honor of our love for our sons and daughters. I encourage you to head over to Davina’s blog to read her letter, and then continue on around the circle!